What if I fail?
What if I don't make it? What if after making so many sacrifices and dedicating so much time, energy, and resources I don't achieve my goal. What if I let everyone who gave me their time down? My self-doubt sometimes plagues my mind.
When I am afraid, I always look at my fear head on. I won't lie, I would be disappointed. I do want to make it around Manitoulin island but "expectations are the death of performance" (Patrick Boileau). The reality is that there are so many factors that are out of my control. I can train my ass off, do everything right, and still not make it.
When the fears and doubts are attacking my mind, I look to one of my inspirations : Terry Fox. Terry didn't make it. Terry did not achieve his goal of running across Canada. Terry showed me, there is grace in defeat. There is beauty in the effort. His soul was larger than the task and I am inspired by the legacy he left behind.
Regardless of the outcome of this swim, it will be a marvelous adventure. I will inspire, I will give hope, I will make those struggling with MS feel seen, heard and valued.
Most of the time, I simply flip the question...